An interview with Jack Merridew
by Lucyinthesky1996
Summary: In which Jack answers all your questions. Contains deep honesty, fluff and Jack/Ralph.
1. Part 1

**1. Who was the last person you held hands with?**

My lovely Ralph :3 Ahem, I mean, Ralph -_-

**2. Are you outgoing or shy?**

Pfft, shy? I don't know the meaning of the word.

**3. Who are you looking forward to seeing in the future?**

Roger, cos we're due for a hunting trip later and it's going to be great (just as long as we don't get chased again.)

**4. Are you easy to get along with?**

I can be difficult sometimes and lots of people label me as a cruel, thoughtless person. But if you give me a chance, like Ralph did, you'll soon discover I'm a gentle soul at heart...sort of.

**5. If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you?**

Um…I've never been _drunk_ before (seeing as I'm underage.) I once got a bit tipsy on salt water and tried to kiss Simon – which neither Ralph or Roger were happy about. But yes, Ralph did take care of me. After giving me a black eye for slapping his arse that is.

**6. What kind of people are you attracted to?**

People who don't judge me before they get to know me.

**7. Do you think you'll still be in a relationship two months from now?**

The subject of divorce has never sprung up during conversations (Ralph and I are married,) so hopefully we'll be together ***cough*** forever ***cough***

**8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?**

My little sister. I miss her :(

**9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?**

Yes it does, seeing as I'm only thirteen. I'm not quite sure what happens during sex to be honest, though I heard there's lots of sweat and fear.

**10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?**

SamnEric, about lighting fires. I'm not very good at it.

**11. Do you like it when people play with your hair?**

As long as they don't mess it up. I like a head massage when I have a headache and it's quite pleasurable when Ralph runs his fingers through my hair to calm me down when I'm mad at Piggy.

**12. Do you believe in luck and miracles?**

It's a miracle I survived that crash and have lived as long as I have on pig meat and fruit. So yes, I do.

**13. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?**

I kiss Ralph all the time, so yes.

**14. Do you think there is life on other planets?**

I haven't thought about it.

**15. Do you like bubble baths?**

Oh Lord, bubble baths. They seem like such a distant memory now. Playing choir with my rubber ducks, with Colonel Quack singing C sharp . Those were happy days.

**16. What are your bad habits?**

Twitching in my sleep

**17. Do you have trust issues?**

A little.

**18. Favorite part of your daily routine?**

Hmm…I like cuddling up with Ralph after a long day's hunt. And believe it or not, I quite enjoy the company of the littleuns from time to time.

**19. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?**

My annoyingly narrow hips.

**20. What do you do when you wake up?**

Snuggle into Ralph's neck so he giggles himself awake.

**21. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?**

I used to hate my skin because it was so sickly and pale. Since arriving on the island, I've gained a nice tan.

**22. Who are you most comfortable around?**

Ralph, Simon and the littleuns. I would say Roger, but he can sometimes spark arguments about who's the sexiest between Simon and Ralph.

**23. Do you ever want to get married?**

Already am, hehe.

**24. Who would you have a threesome with?**

Threesome? What's that?

**25. Do you play sports?**

I used to play a little football back home, but my main sport was badminton.

**26. Would you rather live without TV or music?**

I'm living without both at the minute.

**27. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?**

I didn't tell Ralph I liked him until after I tried to kill him. He was surprised, to say the least.

**28. What do you say during awkward silences?**

"Hunting trip, anyone?"

**29. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?**

Depends on what they've done. I used to be a very narrow-minded person who would have said no, but my experience on the island has taught me differently; Ralph gave me a second chance after all, so perhaps I should do the same in the future.

**30. If you're being extremely quiet what does it mean?**

I'm upset, hurt or I just don't want to talk

**31. Do you smile at strangers?**

I know everyone on the island so there are no strangers here. I smile at Ralph because I love him (don't laugh,) I smile at the littleuns because they're sweet (If you tell anyone I said that, there will be blood,) and I smile at the other bigun's because they're generally funny and make me laugh. I think the only person I haven't got round to smiling at is Piggy.

**32. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?**

I'm currently surrounded by an ocean so that's the obvious answer.

**33. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?**

The littleuns jumping up and down on me.

**34. What are you paranoid about?**

That I'm a bad chief, and that the Beast might spring out and get me or a member of the tribe.

**35. Have you ever been high?**

What does that mean?

**36. Have you ever been drunk?**

Of course not.

**37. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?**

I kissed one of the littleuns on the cheek…don't judge me, alright! I'd lost my spear and spent all morning looking for it and he just happened to find it! He deserved that miniscule act of affection.

**38. Are you a virgin?**

A virgin? I don't really know what that is, but I think so.

**39. Would you like to have children in the future?**

I sort of count the littleuns as my kids. And there are about thirteen of them so we have enough.

**40. Finally, are you scared of anything?**

I'm scared about several things, though I do my best to mask it. I'm scared of The Beast, thunderstorms, the dark…but I think what I'm scared of most is something happening to a member of the tribe. I know I come across as a selfish character, but if anything happened to my friends I'd hold myself responsible. That's why I make sure I watch everyone like a hawk. Especially the littleuns. They're always wandering off…


	2. Part 2 (With Ralph)

**1.** **Do you have any nicknames? **

Holy cats, where do I start?

Okay, there's Jackson (By Roger,) Darling (By Ralph,) The Bear (Ralph,) Gorgeous (Ralph again,) Papa (Littleuns,) Papa Bear (Mostly Percival,) Daddy (Littleuns,) Love (Ralph,) Thoughtless idiot (Piggy.)

Ignore the last one.

**2. Your race? **

White (British)

**3. Occupation/class:**

Occupation? Head of the choir, of course!

**4. Shape of face:**

Heart-shaped

**5. Distinguishing marks?:**

I have dimples.

**6. Health?**

Despite lack of nutrition, fairly good.

**7. Mode of transport around the island? **

I myself am a very handy mode of transport – when Ralph needs a piggy-back to the beach, I'm his man!

**8.** **Do you have any words of advice for the younger members of the island? **

If there's danger out there, you need to go out and face it. There's no time to sit around and think it through (like Ralph does.)

**9. Are you really the fiery character everyone makes out you are?**

When with the entire tribe, I have to be dominant – being the chief and all – but according to Ralph, when I'm alone with the kids, I'm a 'Cuddly Bear.' Hmm.

**10. Favourite food?**

Sherberts. I would KILL for some.

**11. Greatest Strength? **

Being able to hunt and provide for the tribe.

**12. Greatest Weakness? **

Not being able to cook or build shelters (don't laugh.)

**13. Soft spot? **

Believe it or not, I love animals. I even let the littleun's adopt a piglet at one point. I also like little kids, which is why I agreed to adopt all the little buggers who crashed on the island with us.

**14. Biggest Vulnerability?**

Probably the fact I find it hard when I'm not in control. I know I should listen to Ralph more but…I don't know, I just hate competition.

**15. Hometown? **

Hackney, England.

**16. Type of childhood?**

My childhood wasn't pleasant. My mother died when I was five and after that my father got depressed. We became very distant after that,

**17. Most important child hood event that still affects you? **

The first time my father ever hit me. I completely lost trust in people after that; until I met Ralph. I suppose Ralph saved me in a way.

**18. Are you religious? **

I was born Catholic, but I don't believe I deserve God's love after all the damage I have done. Ralph disagrees; he says God forgives all and tells me I should forgive myself too.

**19. Parent's names? **

James and Sigrid Merridew.

**20. Any siblings? **

I have a little sister, Molly.

**21. When are you most at ease? **

Probably when I'm with Ralph ***smiles*** and when I'm with my babies – I mean the littleun's…ahem.

**22. When are you ill at ease? **

When we're attempting to corner a particularly massive pig that I know we have no hope in killing.

**23. How do you feel about yourself?**

I used to hate everything about myself. But according to Ralph and several members of my fandom, I'm quite attractive so…yeah, I'd say I'm adequate.

**24. Optimist or pessimist?**

A bit of both.

**25. How do you handle problems?**

I allow everyone else to panic around me whilst I sit down and ponder over a solution.

**26. Favourite animal.**

Impossible to choose.

I love puppies; I used to have a puppy called Frisky. I love kittens too.

**27. Most prized possession?**

My knife.

My father gave it to me back when he still loved me…

**28. Favourite part of Ralph's body?**

His eyes are what drew me in first. But a close second would definitely be his arse. Bloody hell, he's got a nice arse.

**29. Do you like touching this part of his/her body?**

I like giving it a spank every now and then…

_Jack! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone that! _

Ralph? What are you doing here? Go away, this is _my_ interview.

_Not anymore it isn't. I'm sticking around to make sure you don't spill the beans on what we get up to after dark. _

But you _do_ like it when I slap your arse-

_Next question!_

**30. Well, now there's two of you, anything you don't like about each other?**

Well-

_Jack can get very out of hand when it comes to getting his own way. He can get really moody if everything isn't plain sailing. _

Oi, at least I don't suspect you of cheating every five minutes!

_You should have thought about that before you went behind my back with your best friend's partner._

I didn't! I keep telling you! Simon had a bath and forgot his trousers so he had to borrow mine!

_A likely story! I found his pants on your side of the cave Jack!_

That's because he _changed_ on my side of the cave! I refuse to discuss this any further! Next question!

**31. Jack, do you have any faults?**

Several. One of which is that I'm not the best at satisfying people's needs.

_That's a fact. _

**32.** **Ralph, do you have any hidden talents? **

_I play the flute, I can do handstands and I'm actually quite a good tennis player. _

Hmm, yes, very impressive. All kid's stuff though.

**33. Which one of you cries the most?  
**

Most definately Ralph.

_I'll have to agree on that one. But Jack does cry too. He just prefers to do it in private._

Ralph! Don't tell them!

_It's quite sweet actually. Before we got together, he'd bury his face into his arm to cry but now he has the security of burying his face into my neck instead._

Ralph!

_The last time he cried was when the youngest of our littleuns got sick. He thought he was going to die, bless. Isn't that right Jack?_

...Yes...

**34. What is your opinion on thunderstorms?**

_I find them quite entertaining. What about you, honey?_

Nmnmnmnm...

_To be honest, I don't think Jack likes them at all. Last time there was one on the island, he kept screaming._

Ralph? Why are you whispering? What are you telling them?

_Nothing, dear..._

**35. ****Do you have a favourite person on the island?**

_Each other of course._

Roger.

_What? :'(_

Wait Ralph, come back here! I was only joking! Ralph, baby! I didn't mean it! You're my favourite person, you know that! Ralph? Raaalph...

**36. Having reclaimed Ralph, how do you two feel about your experience on the island?**

It's taught us a lot of things. Leadership, co-operation, survival, forgiveness, the adult world. But most of all, it's taught us that loving and accepting one another is the most important thing of all. Isn't that right Ralph.

_I'm still not speaking to you._

Come on, I said I was sorry!

_Not listening, Jack._

Excuse me a second...

***A few seconds later***

So, do you forgive me now?

_I suppose. Though I'd appreciate it if you didn't bite down on my lip next time._

It's meant to create pleasure!

**37. Thanks for that, um, _interesting_ show boys. So, have you ever considered taking your relationship to the next level?**

_If you mean sex then yes, we will get there eventually. But not until we're at least sixteen, due to Jack's religious views._

We know when we'll be ready. For now, Ralph will just have to put up with kisses and cuddles.

_Jack ss-top! That tickles, get off!_

**38. So adorable. Do you miss your parents?**

_I miss my mum and dad terribly. But it's been so long, I've learnt to cope without them. I suppose that's what growing up and having to leave home is like. But it hurts because I know I'm still young and I'm not ready to survive without my parents. I miss my dad's humour and my mum's loving touch...I wish I could see them again, just let them know I'm alright._

I partly miss my dad, but not so much that I'm dying to see him. I don't know, perhaps his opinion of me has changed since I left home. Hopefully, he doesn't hate me anymore.

_Jack, darling, he doesn't hate you._

He does Ralph, I know he does. But it's alright, because I know I'll probably never see him again. I won't need to see the disappointment in his eyes whenever I'm near him. And best of all, I won't get hit if I do something wrong. At least here on the island I'm the one in charge. Being back at home, under his iron fist, would only shatter my self esteem.

_Oh Jack..._

**39. *Wipes eyes* Do you regret landing on the island?**

I'm going to sound mad for saying this, but no. First of all, I met Ralph on the island and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

_Aww, Jack. Come here. _

Thanks for that. And also I don't regret landing on the island because it's taught me how to be a man and make my own decisions.

_My only regret is that I never got to say a proper goodbye to my family. But I'm partly glad that our plane crashed. I met Jack, got myself a new family, and now all of a sudden I've got about twenty brothers which is hard work, but at the same time precious. I also learnt what it takes to lead a tribe and believe me, it sucks sometimes. If a plane came tomorrow, I'd be happy. But for now I'm content staying put. _

**40. Finally, anything you'd like to say to each other?**_  
_

Ralph, you're probably the most inspirational person I've ever met in my life and well...I know I probably wouldn't be as open-minded as I am now if it wasn't for you.

_You've taught me that even the most stubborn clott-heads deserve a second chance. And you've also taught me that slapping someone's arse can be seen as a form of pleasure. Ow! Jack, not now! The cameras are still on!_

So?

_Oh Jack..._


	3. Part 3 (Never have I)

**A/N: For anyone who is not familiar with the 'Never Have I' game: someone says 'Never have I...' e.g 'Never have I fallen off a swing,' and if the other person has done it in their life they have to take a shot of alcohol (but seeing as the kids are underage and without such beverage, they make so with seawater.) If no one else drinks, that person needs to take a shot. Hope you enjoy x**

* * *

**Alright you two, this is a game called 'Never have I.' You both have half a coconut filled with salt water. Let's get cracking.**

**Jack:** Why did I agree to this?

**Ralph:** Bring it on!

**1. Never have I been kissed**

**Jack:** Well that's an easy one!** *Drinks* **

**Ralph:** I know right ***Drinks* **Ugh, this stuff is rank!

**2. Never have I done a handstand **

**Ralph: *Drinks* **What's the matter Jack? Never done a handstand before?

**Jack:** *Grumbles*

**3. Never have I hugged a littleun**

**Jack: *Drinks*** The littleuns feast on hugs...

**Ralph: *Drinks* **They get moody without them.

**4. Never have I cried myself to sleep**

**Jack: **Oh Lord - ***Drinks* **

**Ralph: **I've been doing that a lot recently ***Drinks***

**5. Never have I felt alone **

**Jack: *Drinks***

**Ralph: **Oh Jack...

**Jack: **Haven't _you_ ever felt alone?

**Ralph: **Not really...probably because I've always had people there with me. I know that you haven't been as fortunate.

**6. Never have I let the fire go out**

**Ralph:** Ahem...Jack?

**Jack: **Ugh, fine** *Drinks***

**7. Never have I brought down a pig with my bare hands**

**Jack: **Aha!** *Drinks***

**Ralph: **Show off...

**8. Never have I been mean to Piggy**

**Ralph:** Swallow it down Jack!

**Jack:** Alright, alright! Jeez... ***Drinks***

**9. Never have I kissed Simon **

**Jack: *Drinks***

**Ralph: **_Jack!_

**Jack: **It was a dare!_  
_

**10. Never have I cried after hurting myself**

**Ralph: *Drinks* **I cried when I fell and scraped my knee once. It didn't hurt but...I don't know, it felt good to cry.

**Jack:** ...

**Ralph: **Be honest Jack.

**Jack: **Grrr ***Drinks*** I cried after I bashed my elbow on one of the rocks, okay? I really hurt so I went away and cried. _Happy?_

**Ralph: **Jack? Jack, I'm sorry. Don't start crying again.

**Jack:** Who says I'm crying?** *Sniff***

**11. Never have I felt useless **

**Ralph: *Drinks* **

**Jack: **Ralph, baby, don't...

**Ralph: **It's true Jack. When you were chief and everything was going wrong for me...I didn't know what to do. Useless is the word for me.

**Jack: *Kisses*** Ralph, don't...

**12. Never have I hit one of the littleuns**

**Jack: *Drinks* **They need discipline...

**Ralph:** Hitting is not the answer. You of all people should know that.

**Jack: **...

**Ralph: **Oh my God, Jack, I'm so sorry! I didn't think! Jack, don't cry. Come here, I'm sorry...

**13. Never have I wanted to kill myself**

**Jack:** ... ***Drinks***

**Ralph: **Jack, no!

**Jack: **Sometimes things got too heavy for me Ralph. Landing on the island, having to look after everyone. And then there was my dad...sometimes it felt like the only way to escape ***Drinks***

**Ralph: *Sobs* **No... ***takes drink from Jack's hand and hugs him*** No...

**14. Never have I been in love**

**Jack: *Drinks* **Love is what's kept me alive.

**Ralph:** You said it ***Drinks***

**15. Never have I killed an animal**

**Jack: *Drinks* **I feel awful about that now. But we need pigs to survive.

**Ralph: **We always make sure we pray for the pig before we kill it now. And then we assure the littleuns that it's gone to heaven. It makes the task of eating it a whole lot easier.

**16. Never have I been scared during a thunderstorm**

**Ralph:** I like thunderstorms.

**Jack: *Drinks***

**Ralph:** Jack doesn't. He needs me there to give him cuddles.

**Jack: *Mutters***

**17. Never have I wanted a baby**

**Ralph: *Drinks* **I've always wanted a baby. I want a little boy.

**Jack:** ...I suppose I'd like having another little one running about the place ***Drinks***

**Ralph: **But not until we're older of course.

**Jack:**...of course.

**18. Never have I been able to tell someone I love them**

**Jack: *Drinks* **It sucks.

**Ralph: *Drinks* **At least we got it out in the end.

**19. Never have I been slapped on the arse**

**Ralph: *Drinks* **Well Jack?_**  
**_

******Jack: **Oh you-****** *Drinks***

******Ralph:** I warned you not to let the fire out again. You couldn't sit for days after I was done with you._  
_

**Jack:** I hate you sometimes...

**20. Never have I met my soulmate**

**Jack: *Drinks* **Mine is here with me now.

**Ralph: *Drinks* **So is mine** *Kisses***

**Jack: **You might as well shut the camera off. We might be a while.

* * *

**A/N: With thanks to all my friends who sent me their questions xx**


	4. Part 4 (Relationships)

**Alright Ralph, here are some questions about your love life (be brave.)**

* * *

**1. Have you ever kissed with tongues?**

_We haven't got to that yet. We're both still a tad young to kiss that passionately but we'll probably get round to it as we get older._

**2. What is your favourite position to be held in?**

_*Giggles* Jack always holds me like a baby when he cuddles me and it makes me feel safe and secure. _

**3. What's the most adult thing you've tried with Jack?**

_There was one time when it was a particularly hot day and I was in my shorts; Jack and I were kissing on the cave floor and he suddenly moved down and began kissing and nibbling my thighs. I was frightened at first but after a while I liked it and made quite a few moaning noises that made him kiss harder._

**4. Who wears the pants in the relationship?**

_Jack pretty much thinks himself the alpha male and in a way he's correct – however, with every alpha male comes an alpha female. I may be the woman in the relationship but I am in no way a pushover (unless I want to be.) _

**5. Have you got any kinks?**

_I quite like having my arse slapped – as Jack has pointed out several times before. I also like to be kissed around my neck because it tickles._

**6. Have you ever punished anybody as discipline/kink?**

_I don't approve of hitting kids, so I give the littleun's a time-out if they've misbehaved. The only time I can remember punishing someone was after Jack let the fire go out and ruined our chances of getting home. I was so angry that I took him into the cave and gave him a hard smack but I left several red marks on his bottom and felt terrible for it afterwards. _

You promised you wouldn't tell anyone about that, God!

_Ignore him. He's just embarrassed because he cried like a baby._

**7. Who do you go to for comfort?**

_Sometimes I go to Simon or Piggy, but whenever I need a good cry I always go to Jack. He can sense when something's wrong with me. He won't say anything around the others but when we're alone he'll take me to the corner of the cave where no one can hear us, sit me on his lap and just hold me. I sob into his neck for a while and when I'm finished he cuddles me until I either fall asleep or feel fit enough to go out and face the others again. _

**8. Are you ticklish?**

_Extremely. Jack uses this to his advantage when he's in bed and wants some extra cover. Tickling often resolves a lot of our arguments as well; as soon as he's got me on the ground giggling like an idiot, he's pretty much won me over._

**9. Hugs or kisses?**

Hmm, tough one. Cuddles are soft and make me feel safe. Kisses make me feel loved. I think I like them both equally.

**10. Would you ever kiss anyone other than Jack?**

_Excuse me? I would never cheat on Jack!_

* * *

_**Alright, now it's Jack's turn.**_

* * *

**1. Have you ever kissed with tongues?**

No, but I'm very curious about how it's done. I know Roger and Simon have gone the extra mile and according to them, it's quite wet and sloppy.

**2. What is your favourite position to be held in?**

I like to be held from behind. Don't ask me why.

**3. What's the most adult thing you've tried with Ralph?**

I once kissed and sucked around his nipples once. But I accidentally nipped him so we never tried it again.

**4. Who wears the pants in the relationship?**

I do of course. But I do find it quite attractive when Ralph plays the dominant female. It makes me love him even more.

**5. Have you got any kinks?**

I like having my back stroked because it makes my toes curl :3 I like being touched with cold hands for some weird reason. And I also like it when Ralph is the dominant one for a change, as I stated previously.

**6. Have you ever punished anybody as discipline/kink?**

I sometimes feel like spanking the hell out of the littleuns when they're being disrespectful little buggers. But Ralph doesn't let me -_-

I never hit Ralph as a kink. Well, not _hard_. I don't want to damage him.

_You calling me weak?_

No…well, not really…

_Hey!_

**7. Who do you go to for comfort?**

Simon's a good listener. And Roger is a mate when Ralph's being a pain-

_Ahem._

But whenever I need to let everything out, Ralph is always there to wipe away my tears for me.

_:3_

**8. Are you ticklish?**

A bit.

_Liar._

Shut up, Ralph.

**9. Hugs or kisses?**

Hugs I think. Hugs are warm and make me feel better about myself.

**10. Would you ever kiss anyone other than Ralph?**

*Makes a fist* You wanna ask that again?

_Jack, calm down…_

How dare they suggest I cheat on you! You're my one and only!

_Jack- _

Does holding that camera make you feel powerful? Well, does it?!

_Jack, don't attack the cameraman!_

I do _not _need to be sedated! Keep that needle away from me or I'll break your nose!

_Can you excuse us a few seconds? Thanks._

* * *

***We are experiencing a few technical difficulties at the moment. Please bear with us.* **

* * *

_Is it on? Hello again. We apologise for the inconvenience. Jack is alright now._

Yes…yes, I'm sorry about that. I don't….I don't know what came over me.

_You're absolutely batty, Jack Merridew. And do you know what? That's why I love you. _

I can't argue with that. Would you like a kiss?

_Better make it three kisses._

Whoops, I gave you five. You'll have to give me my change.

_Two kisses for change, coming up!_


End file.
